Jose Mourinho is in trouble with the police. His dog has been transported around Europe without the proper certificates or jabs.
He is prepared to fight for his pooch which is, apparently somewhere in Portugal. His pooch? Not a sleek Borzoi, or an elegant Afghan. Not a Doberman or a Rottweiler. No. It's a Yorkshire Terrier.
That's not a dog, that's a wig with an attitude. A yorkie makes a poodle look butch.
So the next time we see Jose grumpily complaining about the referee, the weather, the fans or the other team. The next time we see him defending Britain's most expensive football team from criticism, imagine him going home to pine for his little toupee with teeth.
And laugh. Loudly.